


Proxima Centauri

by Mei_MyselfandI



Category: The Flash (TV 2014), The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: (this is pretty much len and barry's runaway/vacation adventure story), Angst, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, More Character Tags As Needed, Running Away, but good things don't last forever, identity crisis, rating will go up as needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-03-30 05:51:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13944273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mei_MyselfandI/pseuds/Mei_MyselfandI
Summary: Instead of creating Flashpoint, Barry decides to just grab Leonard by the hand and leave.Central City fading into the background.





	1. Who is Barry Allen? Who is the Flash?

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy! 
> 
> I'm back with another coldflash (the second one :)) fic! 
> 
> Anyway, I recently started watching the flash and I hated flashpoint, I hated flashpoint so much that I've decided I need to replace it and this fic was born. 
> 
> Enjoy!

 

“Cannot stop thinking about my dad’s doppelganger,” He started as soon as he felt Iris’s familiar presence behind him. He didn’t turn to look at her, he couldn’t, at least not right now, everything was so wrong.

 

How did everything go wrong?

 

“Seeing him, knowing that he’s out there, that should have made it easier, it doesn’t,” his voice cracks and he shuts eyes, he can’t look at anything right now, “it just made me miss him even more.” He feels her come from behind him and sit across from him on the steps, he can feel her frowning, her pity. He doesn’t want it, he doesn’t need it.

 

It’s all his fault.

 

The Flash.

 

His eyes flutter open. He can’t hide, anymore, “We just won, Iris,” He’s facing her now, her eyes on his, “We just beat Zoom, so why does it feel like I’ve just lost?” He doesn’t expect an answer. The question was rhetorical, anyway.

 

He feels defeated.

 

Broken.

 

But still, she answers. “Because you’ve lost a lot in your life, Barry,” She pauses for a moment, “more than most.” If the Flash didn’t exist would his mom be alive? Would his dad? Eddie? Ronnie? How many more people have to die, how many more _will_?

  
“God, Iris, I feel so hollowed out inside right now,” Zoom took everything from him. “I feel more broken than I’ve ever felt in my life.” He’s not the Flash right now, but he’s not Barry Allen either. He can’t tell who he is. Both parts of him are broken, smashed into tiny fragments. And, when he tries to put himself back together he can’t find which pieces go where.

 

Who is Barry Allen?

 

Who is the Flash?

 

“If I’m ever gonna be worth anything to you, to Joe, to Wally, to Cisco and Caitlin, then I need to fix whats wrong with me.” He needs to run. He needs to get away from all this to find—to find something, someone. “I need to find some peace.”

 

Iris shifts her position, her feet moving a little, her body twisting towards the door. “Barry listen to me,” He pulls his head up to face her, and then she’s grabbing at one of his hands, holding it in between hers, “Where ever you need to go, whatever you need to do, do it, and when you get back we’ll be here.” Her hand tightens around his, the last reassurance, and then she’s up and heading back inside.

 

His mouth is opening before he can stop it, “Hey, Iris.”

 

“Yea, Barr?”

 

“I think I’m gonna go for a run, I’ll be back soon.”

 

She smiles at him and he hates himself for lying. But, he’s been hating himself for a lot more than that, lately, it’s just another thing to add to the list, “Sure, Barry.” Then she’s gone.

 

He stands up getting ready to run, but he can’t help it he peaks into the curtains one last time. His friends, his _family_ , all gathered together— _happy._ That's something he can’t have here, not right now, not in Joe’s house, not with Iris, or Cisco and Caitlin, or the Flash, not in Central City. He’s lost here. And, he finds himself muttering at a window to his family, his words deaf to their ears. “That's why I’m so sorry, but I have to go.”

 

And then he’s gone in a streak of yellow.

 

-

-

-

 

“Didn’t think you’d show.” Leonard’s there leaning against his car, smirking and suave as always. It’s nice to have something consistent, something so unwilling to change, something slow.

 

“Like I’d deny a free vacation.” And, for the first time in what feels like a very long time, he’s smiling, it's small and it still feels wrong but it’s there. He makes his way towards him walking, not running, no more running, _he’s tired of running_.

  
“Let me rephrase,” Len pauses for a moment, dramatic effect and all that. Barry figures it’s written in his genetic code, “Figured Wests and Co. would talk you out of it.”

 

He feels himself cringe and bite his lip, and he knows he caught the moment Leonard sees him. The older man raises an eyebrow and that all it takes. “They don’t know.”

 

He starts, “Barry—,”

 

“I know, okay, I know, but you’re right. They would talk me out of it. But, I want to do this, I want it to be just me and you and nobody else.” And god, he knows, okay. He knows he should tell them.

 

But, They would talk him out of it in all of the minutes it would take to tell them. He needs this, he needs to leave Central. As much as he loves this city, _his city_ , he can’t be here anymore. Not until he figures it out, not until he can heal this, this numbness inside of him. This minuscule singularity that blossomed in his heart, a sucked everything it could out of it.

 

Who is the Flash? Who is Barry Allen?

 

He needs to find what he’s lost, remember who he is again.

  
“Does anyone know?” Leonard asks and, yes, actually, someone did know.

 

“Captain Singh.”   


Len actually falters, it’s obviously not what he was expecting, “I-what-Barry?” It doesn’t happen often that he can surprise Leonard, he counts the moments that he can.

 

“I just told him I need to leave Central for a while. I cashed in all my vacation days and sick days for this you know, so yes, Captain Singh knows I’m leaving.” He knows Leonard is absolutely done dealing with him when he’s rolling his eyes shoving him towards the car door.

 

“Get in the car.”

 

Barry hopped in the passenger seat, putting his seatbelt on, getting comfortable for the long ride.

 

“You at least gonna call them when we get there?”

 

He finds himself smiling at Len, “You know, I didn’t realize you cared so much about my friends.”

 

“I’d rather not have Ms.West angry with me, she reminds me too much of my sister. And, Cisco and her keeping dancing around each other, it’s only time until they get together,” He opens the front door getting in and turns to smirk at Barry, “And, Mick likes the good doctor.” Barry still smiling at him. It’s a wonder that his friends actually managed to accept his boyfriend and his family, but he is ever grateful that they did.

 

“You never did answer my question.”

 

He was laying back in the seat, adjusting it, “I left my phone at home, but I did leave them letters.”   


Leonard snorting at him, “Jesus, Barry, classy. That’s it?”

 

He sighed, “Not really. I got a burner but it’s only for emergency, five calls that’s it, I made sure to specify that.”

 

Len reached out with the hand that wasn’t occupied on the wheel and clasped their hands together, warmth mingling between them, “Just you and me, huh?”

 

“That's all I want, Len.” He was so tired of everything, metahumans, Zoom, people he loved getting ripped away from him, the Flash, just _being_.

 

When did living get so hard?

  
“You’re sure, Barry?”

  
He laid back, his head on the plush leather seat, closed his eyes, he could still feel the weight of the world on his shoulders. He needs to be able to let go of it. It was crushing him, breaking him, _shattering_ him, into pieces he couldn’t put back together.

 

Who is Barry Allen? Who is the Flash?  

 

He turned to his boyfriend, his Len. He couldn’t fix himself, not this time, but maybe, just maybe Leonard could.

  
“Let’s get out of here.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Barry going through some things hopefully Len can help him ;) 
> 
> This fic is pretty much going to just explore Len and Barry's runaway vaycay and how the others take it and the drama from when he comes back. Some chapters after this one could be drabble length or full-blown chapter length, I have no idea. 
> 
> The title is from two things, first I was writing this in "Proxima Nova" Font and the Proxima Centauri is a red dwarf in the constellation of Centaurus, fun fact for you!
> 
> But I hope you stick around, Comments and Kudos are everything!


	2. Hotel, Linen, Champagne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peace, huh? 
> 
> It was something Barry had been looking for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this story is going to be weirdly written, I'm trying something new? 
> 
> So pretty much every chapter has a few words that I try to base the chapter around and for this, it was: Hotel, Balcony, Champagne, Linen. For now, that's all you need to know, I'll see you in the endnotes? (hopefully ;)
> 
> Enjoy!

It was still early, only eight or nine, Barry had woken up with his eyes bleary and his throat dry. Wearing only his boxers he threw the white linen sheet over his body. And padded around the suite on a search for water.

 

He ended up in the kitchen, poured himself a cup then quickly downing it. But, instead of going back to bed, like he planned, he found himself quickly enamored with the room.

 

They had gotten here late last night. Len had opened the trunk, and let the porters and valets do their job. They walked inside and Barry ooed and awed at the place before Leonard dragged him towards the front desk to get their room—

 

_“Which one do you want?”_

 

_“The nicest one,” Barry smirked at him, teasing._

 

_But Len turned to the girl at the desk, “You heard him.”_

 

_“Are you sure Sir, that’ll be—”_

 

_Len places down an all black card and her mouth quickly falls shut as he says, “Don’t worry about it,”_

 

_And at the same time, Barry's eyes widened and he hisses, “I was kidding.”_

 

_But Len shrugs, “I know.” And, that was that._

 

 _—-_ Then there wasn’t much time to look around, they were so tired, that they had just fallen into bed.

 

Barry put the glass down moving out of the kitchen. He started with the room closest to him and then quickly found himself opening doors and peeking into every other room. He had found that everything had the same, white, light, bright color scheme, everything was either white or a palish white-yellow. It made the room feel open, more breathable, the soft sunlight that shined from the windows gave everything a peaceful glow, only added to it.

 

Peace, huh?

 

It was something Barry had been looking for a long time.

 

Not just after Zoom, before too, before We-Eobard, before the Flash, before his father’s incarceration. It had taken him a while to pinpoint that exact time that he realized he lost it in the first place, but it always came down to the same moment, the same instance.

 

The moment his mother died he no longer knew _peace._

 

Barry tightened the sheet around him and kept padding around the room, even now it still-would always-hurt to think of that day.

 

Somehow, through his exploration he found himself at the balcony, sliding the door open and stepping outside. The breeze was light, but it was cold, so once again tried to tuck the linen closer to him but it did no good. The morning sun was rising, only half of it visible over the clouds. He made his way over to the plush couch and sat down taking in the view.

 

The muted chirps of birds were scattered through the air, which smelt faintly of sea salt. He could see the clear waters, hear them too, the sand almost white in its coloring. Barry found himself closing his eyes taking it all in. Maybe, peace felt something like this?  

 

It was enough to lower him into a still doze.

 

-

-

-

 

He was opening his eyes to the sight of Len placing a bottle of champagne on the small table in front of him. “You’re up early.”

 

Barry shrugged giving him a sleepy smile, “Felt like exploring, found myself out here.” Leonard sat down next to him opening the bottle pouring it into the two glasses, which was next to a plate of food Barry had just noticed. “What’s all this?”

 

“Chef’s compliments.”

 

“Right,” Barry nodded and raised in eyebrow in disbelief, “Because, you somehow saved the owner’s life while simultaneously stealing from him. And now they all love you.”

 

“Pretty much,” Len smirked at him, then grabbed a strawberry from the plate, which said plate, was more like a gigantic serving dish with all the fancy slices of meat, cheese, and every fruit anyone could ever need or want. He bummed the strawberry against Barry’s lips, to which he opened his mouth letting Len feed it to him. “God, you’re beautiful.”

 

Barry turned away, blushing, embarrassed, almost the same color as the strawberry he was currently chewing on. He heard Len chuckle softly beside him, he felt himself grow warmer.

 

He threw the stem at Len muttering a petulant, “Leave me alone.” But still, he found himself smiling.

 

“But, it's true, Scarlet,” Leonard paused for a minute, “or should it be strawberry, now?”

 

“Oh my god,” Barry protested, “don’t ever call me that.”

 

“If you’re sure… Strawberry.”

 

_“Len!”_

 

“My beautiful, scarlet strawberry.” Len leaned in with every word placing a kiss on his lips.

 

No matter how embarrassed he was, Barry couldn’t deny him this. He wrapped his arms around Len’s shoulder leaning back in, pressing his lips against his. The white linen sheet he was wearing slipping down from his shoulders. Len pulled back, but let his forehead rest against Barry’s.

 

“Anyway plans today?” Barry asked moving back resting his head on Len’s shoulder, grabbing the champagne to quietly sip it.

 

“No, actually no plans,” Len answered and Barry looked at him in surprise.

 

“Um, who are you and what have you done with Leonard Snart?”

 

Len smiled and shook his, fondly, “We have all the time we need, Barry, the only plans I have right now, is figuring out how to convince you that having sex on this couch is a good idea.”

 

“We’re _outside_!” Barry exclaimed.

 

He felt Len's hand crawl up his thigh, “And, you’re wearing a _sheet._ ”

 

(They ended up finishing the bottle of champagne and Len slightly tipsy insisted on feeding Barry the rest of the food on the platter. And then maybe, he would _never_ admit it outright, just maybe they had sex on the balcony. Maybe.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, time to try and explain: 
> 
> The way I'm writing this story is going to be in three parts: the runaway, the return, and the aftermath. 
> 
> The 1st part "the runaway" I'm just going to be writing whatever I want them to experience and it's not going to be in a very linear fashion. For example, one chapter they could be in the hotel, the next there at a garden in Italy. But, through all of this there moving forward in time, so the next chapter is ALWAYS happening after the chapter before it. 
> 
> Think of it as I'm skipping all the "fluff" from having them check out of the hotel, to the boarding the plane to checking into the next hotel in Italy, you know? (it's cause I'm lazy) 
> 
> I really hope you guys understand because if not it'll get a little confusing. 
> 
> BUTTTTT, this is not the exciting part, you guys get to contribute to the story too! Like I said, each chapter has it own four words that I base it off of, so if any of you guys give me four words (or three) I'll base the chapter off those!
> 
> Anway, I hope you enjoyed and comments and kudos arrrrre everything!


End file.
